Happy family where mother is breast-feeding a newborn

Introducing a New Baby

Your toddler is used to being the centre of attention. When a new baby arrives, their world may fall apart. They often revert to baby behaviour, with constant demands and tantrums – such as wanting to have a nappy again, or a bottle or dummy, just like the new baby. This may not happen for several weeks – or until the toddler realises the baby is not going back!

Every day you need to have some special time with just you and your toddler (even if it is only for 15 minutes) doing special things. Try to make it at the same time every day.

Big brother lovingly hugging his newborn

Before the baby arrives

  • You may like to take the toddler with you when you go for your pregnancy checkups.
  • At 5-6 months, when your growing tummy is obvious, talk to your toddler about the baby inside.
  • Buy them a baby doll, bassinet or pram, to practise changing, feeding, bathing and putting baby to bed.
  • Decide in advance who is going to look after the toddler when you go into hospital. It’s best if they can stay in their own home.
  • Your partner should develop some special activities to do alone with your toddler, so they get used to being without you.
  • Don’t attempt any changes in your toddler’s routine close to delivery time, e.g. toilet training or day care. Try to continue existing activities, like playgroup. This gives your toddler added security.

In hospital

  • During visits, don’t hold the new baby yourself – keep them in the bassinet, or let someone else hold them. Give the toddler lots of cuddles and attention, sitting them on your bed or lap.
  • Have several small presents for your toddler ‘from the new baby’ – one at each visit.
Happy young family with a newborn little baby

When you get home

  • Don’t send your toddler away to stay somewhere else, or change the routine.
  • Have a special basket with some favourite toys or books, which comes out only when you feed the baby. Set your toddler up before starting the feed, and keep them close by so they don’t feel left out or jealous.
  • Every day you need to have some special time with just you and your toddler (even if it is only for 15 minutes) doing special things. Try to make it at the same time every day
  • When they constantly ask for attention, try to resist saying “Later,” or “I don’t have time.” Tell them you’ll do it at their ‘special time.’
  • Your partner should also keep up their special activities with the toddler, even if it’s only a walk to buy coffee.

Chapter 3 Growing Up

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