Portrait of adorable little boy standing next to mother

Setting the Boundaries

Why is setting boundaries so important?

It gives structure to a child's life and teaches them about control, rules and limits in their world. This gives the child a feeling of security and reliability, and helps them feel good about themselves, building self-esteem.

Tell them what behaviour is not acceptable, and what behaviour you expect. Deal with bad behaviour straight away.

African american mother parenting her youngster

Building self confidence

  • Praise efforts and good behaviour.
  • Give them the chance to do things for themselves.
  • Teach them how to resolve conflict by your own example.
  • Don't compare children – every child is different.

Tips on setting boundaries

  • Parents should agree on the rules and what they will and won’t accept.
  • Be consistent and patient – don’t expect miracles.
  • Be firm about the things that matter.
  • Try to stop a scene or tantrum you see coming by distracting your toddler, or taking them away from the situation.
  • Tell them what behaviour is not acceptable, and what behaviour you expect. Deal with bad behaviour straight away.
  • When disciplining your child, tell them it was what they did that you didn’t like. In other words, condemn the behaviour, not the child. e.g. “That behaviour is bad,” NOT “You’re a bad boy.” Then give them a cuddle and tell them you love them.
  • Use constructive criticism – discuss with your child other ways they could have handled the situation.
  • Don’t hit your child – it can make things worse and teaches them that violence is the way to take control and get what you want.
  • Be a good role model. Children learn what they see, not what they’re told.
Unhappy toddler boy lying down on floor

Night

5.30pm Dinner (no later or they’ll be too tired to eat).

6.00pm Bath and dress for bed.

6.30pm May join the whole family at the dinner table for a snack or dessert.

7pm (or earlier) Brush teeth. Quiet time in bed – dim lighting, gentle story or soft music.

7.30pm Bedtime (10-12 hours’ sleep).

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